


once in a lullaby

by breathesomeday



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alzheimer's Disease, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, F/M, Implied Relationships, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 04:17:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3105386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathesomeday/pseuds/breathesomeday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peggy Carter: she does not remember. Neither does he.</p>
            </blockquote>





	once in a lullaby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Voodooling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voodooling/gifts).



> A little gift for you [Sam](http://voodooling.tumblr.com) after your endless amounts of stucky recs over the past few weeks <33
> 
> Also thanks to my other fav [Sam](http://arbitraryknowledge.tumblr.com/) for inspiring me to spend 30 minutes writing out a quick drabble instead of doing my pile of uni work (I'm an excellent student, I know). It's unbetaed so please excuse any and all mistakes (but also point them out so I can fix them baha)!
> 
> This came about from an unused line from a stucky fic that I'm just finishing up, I'll try to post that up within the next few days. Title is taken from lyrics in Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
> 
> Feel free to join me on [tumblr](http://thehappyfolk.tumblr.com/) to scream about stucky and angst :P
> 
> Enjoy :)

A clock ticks away quietly in the room; it is old, antique. He can hear the muted sounds of the elderly sleeping in adjoining rooms. The Winter Soldier stares at the old woman before him, hands worn and eyes distant.

The files tell him that this is Peggy Carter, co-founder of S.H.I.E.L.D; a target to be eliminated. _His_ next target, to be accurate. This woman does not look or act like the woman described to him in his mission briefing; she had hardly acknowledged him as he entered the room, her mind focused elsewhere. She has an old nightdress on and her hair is thin and grey. Her trademark red lipstick is nowhere to be found. This Peggy Carter has none of the tenacity and boldness he somehow expected, she is frail and tame and it is apparent to the Winter Soldier that this woman is not really his target. Not any more.

“Who are you?” She asks abruptly. Her hazel eyes are watching him now, suddenly interested in the intruder in her small room.

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does,” she snaps with a raised volume, to which he raises an eyebrow. She watches him carefully then, as the cogs in her rusted mind slowly begin to turn. She must realise something because she lets out a short exhale before adding reverently, “You look just like him.”

“Who?”

“Barnes. Bucky Barnes.” She answers as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He does not understand.

Peggy nods to her small wooden vanity, where a mirror resides. The Winter Soldier glances slowly toward it until he can see what should be his own reflection; only he does not recognise the face that stares back at him. It is cold and worn and tired, tells a story he does not know.

“He thought you died,” she says sadly. “He’s gone now too.”

“He?” The Soldier presses, “Who are you talking about?”

The old woman huffs a laugh, “Steve. You know, Captain America? Your best friend?”

“Oh.” He responds. Captain America is not his friend, he is an enemy, and yet Peggy Carter says this with such conviction that he finds himself unable to reveal the truth to her.

“I loved him with all my heart.” This statement bothers him; he chooses not to think why. Peggy must have noticed something on his face however, a glimpse of his former target’s intelligence shining through, because she smirks and says, “Did you love him?”

He does not know the answer to this. He believes he should.

Perhaps he is underestimating this woman as a target, because Peggy Carter evidently spots something else in his expression as she shrugs and adds tenderly, “Don’t worry about it, I’m sure he knew.” The Winter Soldier is not sure but he nods, once.

“I miss him every day,” she confesses, turning to stare out of her window at the quaint view that resides beyond it. The night sky is clear and the moon casts grand shadows into the room, the Soldier prefers to watch these instead.

They sit in silence for a while, Peggy smiling faintly out of the window and the Winter Soldier puzzling over the Intel he has gained as the clock ticks persistently on. _Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, a story he does not know. ‘I’m sure he knew’_. A question forms on his tongue. He does not know why he needs to say it.

“Did he love me?” He asks, breaking the comfortable silence.

Peggy’s head snaps away from the window then, a newfound terror in her eyes. “Who are you?” She gasps, confusion riddling her features.

“I-” The Soldier begins, but it is too late, the Peggy Carter he was speaking with is gone.

“Please leave my room,” she begs, “please leave me alone. Don’t hurt me.” Her panic is growing in volume, she will alert nurses to his presence if he does not leave quickly. It is clear to the Soldier now that her mind is frayed, her memories coming apart at the seams. This woman is not really his target. Not any more.

The Winter Soldier does not respond to her pleas, merely stands to open her window before ducking out onto the balcony. He stands in the cold night air, and listens carefully as her breathing slows and her panic subsides.

He has no reason to harm this elderly woman, she poses no threat. She will never remember this encounter; her past and memories are locked away in the recesses of her mind almost as securely as his own.

Peggy Carter: she does not remember. Neither does he.

This mission is over.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)  
> Any kudos/comments/feedback is greatly appreciated!


End file.
